大まかな流れ: ① 父親が使っていた教科書を息子が見つけて眺める ② 父親の「読みかた」を、余白の書き込みや下線、蛍光ペンなどから読み解いていく ③ 父親の沈黙=言葉にしていないものに思いを馳せる ④ 父親の過去、一家の記憶の回想 ⑤ 回想終了。余白を見つめて途方に暮れる ⑥ 父親の書き込みに戻る。励まされる ⑦ 読み終える
詩の材料 = キルトの繋ぎかたのバリエーション: A 欄外の余白に書き込まれたメモを、息子が説明・解釈する B 教科書に掲載されている文章中、アンダーラインや蛍光ペンが引かれているところを、息子が説明・解釈する C 教科書に掲載されている文章の一節を、息子が引用して家族の描写に当てはめ、自分の詩の本文にはめ込む D 何が書かれていないかに思いを馳せる
■拙訳
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Certain words give him trouble: cannibals, puzzles, sob, bosom, martyr, deteriorate, shake, astonishes, vexed, ode … These he looks up and studiously annotates in Vietnamese. Ravish means cướp đoạt; shits is like when you have to đi ỉa; mourners are those whom we say are full of buồn rầu. For “even the like precurse of feared events” think báo trước.
Its thin translucent pages are webbed with his marginalia, graphite ghosts of a living hand, and the notes often sound just like him: “All depend on how look at thing,” he pencils after “I first surmised the Horses’ Heads / Were toward Eternity —” His slanted handwriting is generally small, but firm and clear. His pencil is a No. 2, his preferred Hi-Liter, arctic blue.
I can see my father trying out the tools of literary analysis. He identifies the “turning point” of “The Short and Happy Life of Francis Macomber”; underlines the simile in “Both the old man and the child stared ahead as if they were awaiting an apparition.” My father, as he reads, continues to notice relevant passages and to register significant reactions, but increasingly sorts out
his ideas in English, shaking off those Vietnamese glosses. 1981 was the same year we vượt biển and came to America, where my father took Intro Lit (“for fun”), Comp Sci (“for job”). “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening,” he murmurs something about the “dark side of life how awful it can be” as I begin to track silence and signal to a cold source.
Reading Ransom’s “Bells for John Whiteside’s Daughter,” a poem about a “young girl’s death,” as my father notes, how could he not have been “vexed at her brown study / Lying so primly propped,” since he never properly observed (I realize this just now) his own daughter’s wake. Lấy làm ngạc nhiên về is what it means to be astonished.
少女の死を扱ったランソムの詩「ジョン・ホワイトサイドの娘への弔鐘」のページ。父の書き込みからは、いかに父が「この子がすまして支えを受けて横たわり、じっともの思いにふけるのは困ったものだ」と思えなかったかがわかる。ちょうど今気づいたが、父は自分の娘の通夜に立ち会えなかったのだ。Lấy làm ngạc nhiên về は、驚いてびっくりするという意味。
Her name was Đông Xưa, Ancient Winter, but at home she’s Bebe. “There was such speed in her little body, / And such lightness in her footfall, / It is no wonder her brown study / Astonishes us all.” In the photo of her that hangs in my parents’ house she is always fourteen months old and staring into the future. In “reeducation camp” he had to believe she was alive
彼女の名前は Đông Xưa。古代の冬という意味だが、彼女は家でくつろぐ赤ん坊だった。「その小さな体はスピードにあふれ / 足音はいとも軽やかだったので / この子のむっつりもの思いにふける姿が / みんなを仰天させるのも無理はない」 両親の家にかけてある写真では、彼女はいつも1才2ヶ月のまま、じっと未来を見つめている。「再教育キャンプ」に囚われていた間、父には娘が生きていると信じることしかできなかった。
because my mother on visits “took arms against her shadow.” Did the memory of those days sweep over him like a leaf storm from the pages of a forgotten autumn? Lost in the margins, I’m reading the way I discourage my students from reading. But this is “how we deal with death,” his black pen replies. Assume there is a reason for everything, instructs a green asterisk.
Then between pp. 896-97, opened to Stevens’ “Sunday Morning,” I pick out a newspaper clipping, small as a stamp, an old listing from the 404-Employment Opps State of Minnesota, and read: For current job opportunities dial (612) 297-3180. Answered 24 hrs. When I dial, the automated female voice on the other end tells me I have reached a non-working number.